was it planned?

This is a question I get a lot when revealing to people that I am pregnant.  "Was it planned?"
It's an interesting question.  I wouldn't ask a co-worker or someone I am not very personally close with if their breasts are real, or how much money their home cost, because I think those are personal questions.  No matter how curious I might be, I would hold back.  Sure, I bet I've slipped up before, asked something a bit too personal to someone I don't know all that well.  And I'm generally an open book, so I can't think of many instances in my life when I thought someone crossed the line with me with regards to personal questions.

Was it planned?

Loaded question.  In the case of this Gillefond papoose, the answer is, yes.  I am a planner, we planned for this baby. But what if we hadn't?  What if that little sperm met the mama egg without our meaning it to happen?  Would we be less of parents? What is the expected response then, exactly? "nope! total shocker! woohoo!"

From close friends and immediate family, I think it's a legitimate question.  We were going to tell the people in that group that we were trying to conceive, but frankly it happened so quickly, we hadn't gotten to everyone yet.  Given my history of independent baby-less-ness, I could see how it would shock some to learn that I was suddenly in a delicate state.

But what about a relative stranger? fellow student? neighbor? parent's friend? co-worker? boss? 

If the answer is "yes," then- ohhh, but arent you a student? are you going to abandon your job?  what about your responsibilities?  Can you really afford it? what are you thinking?  Maybe no one has thought any of these things, but its a possibility. "yes! we are crazy people! we actually have the nerve to think we can raise a child!"

If the answer is "no"- doesn't that still have a connotation, even if married and 30? ooooohhhh, I see. Internal thoughts of irresponsibility, carelessness. "nope! totally irresponsible! got loaded one night and heeeeeere's junior!"

People just REALLY want to know things that do not concern them in the case of pregnancy. Will you find out if it's a boy or a girl?  Do you have names decided?  I can handle it- generally it is just coming from a place of excitement.  But I sense it's a short road between excitement and judgement- "ohhhh, that was the elementary school's bully's name- ew" etc.

A friend told me that personal and privacy become unknown terms during pregnancy.  I'm trying to keep an open mind but learning that she just might be right.