My body is beautiful

Sometimes you need a little post-baby body pick me up.  It came this week in jeans.  I slipped on a pair I thought were my slightly larger, but still pre-pregnancy pants, and was surprised to realize that they were in fact my Blue Cult jeans.  My regular, go-to pair for about the last 5 years that I had not yet been able to comfortably button.  Most days, the last thing on my mind is how I look, but some days....well, some days I need a bit of self-promotion.

Like this.....

Lately I've been staring in the mirror picking myself apart. 
You'd think at my age I'd find something better to do than making insecurity into a full time job.  Making insecurity into an art.
But now here's this tiny baby, and they say she looks just like me
And she is smiling at my with that present infant glee
And I would defend til the end of the Earth her perfect right to be.



My body is beautiful. It created and carried a miraculous papoose for 40 weeks 2 days.  It stretched and groaned and swelled till it almost burst.  It breathed  and swayed and paced and shook and sweated and chilled and held that tiny body.  She finally was wrenched free through a five inch horizontal cut.  Then staples, dressings, staples out, protective padding in.  My body alone has kept her alive now for 61 weeks.  She was born, she sits, bounces, smiles, giggles, LAUGHS, pouts, babbles, pulls my hair, pulls my face, has teeth, one hundred percent because my body feeds her.

Repeat.

My body is beautiful.

My hair is falling out.

My body is beautiful.

My stretch marks, which only arrived in the blasted 36th week, are faded and soft.
My outie is a halfsie, not sure which way it wants to stay.
My stomach muscles protrude, a watery six-pack, every time I sit up, lay back, bend.

My body is beautiful.

Sigh.

I can button my boyfriend jeans.  I cannot button my skinnies.  I cannot button a button-down shirt.  I can wear spanx!

I gained 40 pounds. I was huge. I would still like to lose 4 more.  I'm now one of those people- "ohh those last 10 pounds are the hardest...if only I could lose 5 pounds."

I love to bake. I love to eat. I don't love sit-ups.  I don't love running.  I love coffee.  I love nursing.  I am tired. 

My body is beautiful.
Repeat.
My body is beautiful.
Repeat

And in case you also need a little weekend pick-me-up, love it-