I've been asked about 10 times in the last year what do I need for the beginning of my baby's life? I asked the same of my new mom friends in the month's before Mathilda's (papoose!) birth. I followed their advice. It was invaluable. So I will pay it forward. I will also mention that the products below are not all ones that I own. I learned from experience.
Car-seat. Look at Consumer Reports and pick the car-seat with the best NHTSA reviews. Get one that locks into a stroller (see below). If you have 2 cars, get another that will convert to a forward facing seat and a booster seat. Why? Save yourself the $80 in getting a second car-seat base for your 2nd car. You will need a convertible car seat eventually- likely before your kid's first birthday. It is an additional expense, but you end up saving $80 in the long run from not purchasing the 2nd base. Plus, both you and your partner can pick up the kid from daycare without having to coordinate who has the car-seat.
Stroller. You need a decent umbrella stroller that will hold up for travel and trips with smooth surfaces. We really like the Maclaren Triumph. It's expensive for a small stroller, but folds easily, rolls easily, and Tilly seems comfy in it. It also seems quite durable- it's been thrown around by many baggage handlers and is no worse for wear.
In the beginning, baby needs to be snug in the car-seat which locks into some kind of stroller. The thing is, by the time baby can sit up on her own, that Travel System stroller is so bulky and heavy. You'll want to use the umbrella stroller, or a jogging stroller (we got ours at a yardsale) for bumpy sidewalks and long strolls. So, instead of getting the full travel system in the beginning, get the car-seats you love, and then a stroller frame. Save over $100.
Bottles. Don't worry about it. Get the bottles that come with your breastpump and leave it at that. If you have a big problem with those bottles down the road, try other kinds. But don't waste a lot of time and money worrying about it now. That said, we found that Avent and Born Free bottles held up best as she grew and her suck got stronger. Some of the other nipples (namely, the Medela ones) would collapse once she was about 6 or 9 months old and had a stronger suck.
Pacifiers. Using a pacifier before nursing is established can interfere with nursing. That said, sometimes they scream and they need to be pacified. Take the free ones from the hospital. Your baby doesn't know that there are other kinds. Don't spend your money here.
Blankets. Bigger is better with receiving blankets- the little 21x21 won't do anything for you. Get 2 warm ones to cover in the car, and when snuggling in a chair. Get a few gauzey light weight ones- we loved these. Finish it out with a few soft thin flannel ones. Done! We registered for WAY too many receiving blankets, I don't know why. They sit unused in a basket in her closet.
Bottle warmer. It's week 5, you've started pumping, and your baby is still waking up in the night? Time for the partner to do a midnight feeding. Get a night/day bottle warmer. It has room for an ice pack. No going downstairs, less crying baby.
Clothes. To start, you need about 10 newborn outfits, 10 3-6mo outfits, a few hats, socks, undershirts, a halo sleepsack, and a bunch of sleep-n-plays for day/night wear. People will buy you most of this stuff. Even if you think you're having a HUGE baby (as I did), you still need newborn size. We only had 3month because we were scared into believing she'd never wear newborn. Instead we looked basically homeless when we took her from the hospital- her clothes were so big and falling off of her!
Babywearing. We fell victim to the Bjorn. Did not love it. The Moby was great till we had to leave the house and try to wrap it- it drags on the ground when you wrap it, so its better for wrapping in the house (we still use it). I liked the hotsling for a very easy to use sling, but by the time she was about 8 months she was too heavy. I'm now in love with the ErgoBaby. We use it all the time and LOVE it, and it comes with a newborn insert. Really. It's love. And it has a pocket for your cell phone and keys. What more could you want?
Nursing. Get a tub of Lansinoh cream for your nipples, and a Boppy pillow to help with support. All done! I wish I had been fitted for some decent nursing bras. I bought cheap Target ones, and they didn't hold up or look very nice. Once you're out of the oh-god-Im-so-tired-and-dont-care-what-I-look-like and want to have a decent bra, you'll want a better one. They are expensive, but you can wash in the sink every other day and probably get away with only purchasing 2 or 3.
Gear. A nice floor mat with some dangling toys- no need to spend a lot. Get a good swing (Tilly loved this one which we got used from a friend), and a nice loungey chair (like this, which was also a hand me down. We also used to keep this one on our bed). You don't need much else in the beginning. Around month 3-ish you'll want a Bumbo seat to help with sitting up, and around month 4 you'll want a Jumparoo. Those links go to the actual products we have. But we borrowed them or got as hand-me-downs and I recommend you do the same. Craigslist and other parents are your best resources for gear. As your baby ages (through 6 months-ish), bright colored crinkly/soft toys, plastic links, wooden rings, some plush and plastic animals, soft baby doll, musical instruments were all favorites in our house in terms of toys.
High Chair. We use the space saver high chair. It just sits on one of our dining chairs, and will convert to a booster seat when she's ready (soon, I think). It was highly recommended to us. I liked it when she was younger and smaller, but now I think she can't sit up as straight as she'd like and the tray gets in the way of her arm movement. We have the IKEA high chair as a backup and I really like it. But it's only good once the kid is bigger and can sit up alone. Not sure what the solution is for kids from babies to toddler age.
Pack-n-play. You need one. They are great and come with a bassinet (Tilly slept in that bassinet a lot). They are essential for travel, when you have houseguests and they sleep in the baby's room, naps on the first floor in the early months, etc. We have something like this.
Diapers. See this post, and others like it. Fun and easy. Also- something we learned the hard way (wet way?) get something to cover the changing table cover. What? Yes- you cover the changing pad with a soft cover, but you want to cover that as well with something. Otherwise when baby tinkles as you're changing her, you have to change the entire pad every time.
Feeding. Make your own purees. All you need is a food processor and some regular food. So easy! No need to get a baby-specific food processor. Waste of money. Use the one you have. You'll be amazed how fresh the food is and how much money you'll save over buying jars. Freeze the purees in ice cube trays- those make about 1.5oz servings. Perfect! We also were gifted some awesome teething accessories like these keys, and an awesome mesh bag that you put solids in before they can handle it alone that lets baby gum it. I can't find it online, but they have it at Target for sure. Now that she eats solids in restaurants, but likes to throw plates, we put this placement down and it eliminates mess.
I think those are the big things. If anyone has anything to add, I would love to hear it. Thanks to the moms who helped me make my list a year ago. You know who you are.
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