a series of lasts

Tomorrow is the last day of my 38th week of pregnancy, and officially 2 weeks before my due date.  I am then considered "full term"- meaning she could come anywhere in the next 3 weeks (or 4 technically, but with her size I don't see myself going all the way to 42 weeks, but I'm not in charge of these "nature" decisions!)

The days are a series of lasts for me.  Will this be the last roll of toilet paper I change...  The last trip to the grocery store...  The last time I dye my hair....until she comes?  When my mother was in labor with me, and I was experiencing fetal distress, the physicians needed to perform an emergency cesarean which required general anesthesia.  They asked her what was the last thing she had to eat and she honestly told them- a dozen cream filled donuts and a quart of milk.  The response- no, your last meal only.  Yes, she said, a dozen cream filled donuts and a quart of milk.  (Odd that I was 9lbs 4oz and 24inches at birth).  I keep thinking, what will I say?  What will my last meal be?  It makes you second guess the worth of that extra cookie before bed.

I am experiencing a visit from that old friend, nostalgia.  Will this be the last day that papoose and I share a body, a circulatory and respiratory system?  Will I remember these last days with clarity, retell them to her with love, laughter, embarrassment?  Or will they be pushed out with the series of firsts- first contraction, first push, first time we lay eyes on her, first baby?  I'm so used to her being a part of me, and even though I am absolutely wild to meet her, I will miss her how she is now, how she has made me feel physically and emotionally.  I will miss talking to her while she kicks and squirms and rolls around inside of me.  I admit, I will miss the transformation my body has undergone.  I have loved being pregnant.  However, I am ready to meet this little girl and if she decided tonight was her night, I'd be more than thrilled.

Oh, and my last meal would be berry pie and milk ;-)